|
General questions about coaching
Q. How is relationship coaching different from counseling?
A. The differences, which can be substantial, are covered
in Dr. Sanford's article, "Relationship
Coaching or Counseling?"
Top
Q. We've had couples counseling. We gained insight into
our problems, but nothing much changed. Why should your skills-coaching
program be any different?
A. Our program is change. If change is what you want,
you will definitely get it here. Expect to be trying out new behavior
from the first coaching session. The program teaches essential
skills and provides a vehicle for practicing them.
Also, after you finish active coaching, you can continue to hone
your skills and get peer support by maintaining your membership
in our online Practice Community. Our relationship coaching program
is designed to be a vehicle for long-term learning and a continuing
safety net under your marriage or committed relationship.
Top
Q. What relationship areas does your program cover?
A. The program is supported by the Relationship Library
of Dr. Sanford's 600+ "how to" articles on marriage
and couple relationships. The program itself covers all the relationship
areas reflected in the Library, including – communication,
conflict management, remarriage, commitment, marital infidelity,
romance, intimacy. For a complete list, visit the Relationship
Library, particularly Articles
by Keyword and Articles
by Collection.
Top
Is coaching right for me – or for
us?
Q. Is your site only for married people? It is called
marriagesupport.com.
A. We welcome any couple, whether married or not, who
are in a committed relationship and any individual who wants to
understand relationships better and improve her or his skills.
Being married is definitely not a requirement.
Top
Q. My spouse and I are unclear about whether or not we
want to remain married. Would our uncertainty prevent us from
doing couples coaching?
A. Absolutely not. Figuring out whether or not you want
to remain together is a perfectly legitimate goal for couples
coaching. Along the way you would learn the skills that continuing
your marriage with mutual respect would require. Having those
skills should certainly be useful in deciding the future of your
relationship.
Top
Q. Are there situations in which couples coaching would
not be advisable?
A. Yes. Couples coaching would not be recommended if
one partner were actively deceiving the other, as with a secret
affair. Couples coaching would also not be recommended if the
relationship were extremely unstable emotionally, because of intense
anger or hurt. When partners cannot work together at all, individual
counseling would be advisable before couples coaching is attempted.
Top
Q. When should individual coaching be avoided?
A. Successful coaching requires the ability to make choices.
If you are not free to choose, for example because of mental illness,
an addiction such as alcoholism or a temper that you often cannot
control - you should, before you attempt coaching, deal with these
restrictions on your ability to choose freely and follow through.
Top
Q. For relationship coaching to work, must both partners
participate? I think that coaching could help us, but my partner
isn't interested.
A. You can bring about changes in the relationship by
yourself – without your partner's participation. When one
person changes, the other partner must adjust or leave the relationship.
You cannot make the relationship succeed through your own efforts
alone. But you can improve your contributions and, in the process,
increase the likelihood that your partner will be positively affected
and eventually join you.
Top
Q. Is coaching only for people who are clear about what
they want? All I know is that I'm confused and in pain. Is that
a starting point for coaching?
A. That's a perfectly good starting point for coaching.
Probably your first goal would be to understand your situation,
then figure out what you can do about it. By the way, there is
plenty of room in coaching for you to work through your pain and
confusion. Moving to action can happen gradually, as you become
ready for it.
Top
Q. I am recently divorced. I would like to learn from
my mistakes and from the shortcomings in my marriage, to prepare
myself for what I hope will be another serious relationship. How
could relationship-skills coaching help me?
A. Our program can help you 1) identify the challenges
of your marriage that, at the time, you were unable to meet, 2)
figure out what skills you needed then and 3) most important –
learn those skills and apply them in your present life now, whether
you're in a partner relationship or not. Understanding is good.
Learning to do now what you couldn't do before – and doing
it is even better.
Top
Q. Do you only offer relationship coaching?
A. Not at all. You could use coaching to work toward
specific relationship goals for a while and then take coaching
in a different direction. Are you living your values to the full?
Do you make promises to yourself in areas other than your marriage
but never getting around to keeping those promises? Could your
sense of what's possible for you be richer? Coaching is available
in a variety of personal growth areas.
Top
The coaching program
Q. What opportunities does the site offer for connecting
with other people who are also working on their relationships?
A. Building mutually supportive, helpful relationships
with others is an essential part of our program. On the site,
building relationships with others is centered in the Practice
Community. Membership is open, at little or no cost, to anyone
who has completed a site coaching program or is currently involved
in one. Members keep online journals (blogs) where they can record
relationship goals and efforts to achieve them and where –
if they want - others can comment and make suggestions. We also
offer skills groups and "support circle" groups for
people who seek connection with others.
Top
Q. I have questions about your program that aren't answered
here.
A. Coaching
Articles collects together all the articles on the site that
deal with relationship coaching and with our program. With the
addition of the Coaching
Programs sections, you should have enough information to answer
your questions. If not, please email
us.
Top
Q. Is all your coaching by telephone?
A. Not all, but most. Dr. Sanford also sees clients for
individual and couples coaching and for counseling in his South
Portland, Maine office. He also offers four- and five-day couples
"breakthrough intensives" in Maine. Details by request.
In the future, we will also have couples intensives and workshops
at our Relationship Center in San Miguel de Allende, Mexico.
Top
Q. What about confidentiality?
A. The details of your coaching remain strictly confidential
between you and your coach, in all of the coaching programs. You
are free to participate on a "first name only" basis
in coaching groups and in the Practice Community. Your online
journal (blog) remains closed to others, unless you choose to
share it. Your name and address will not be shared with anyone
outside the site.
Top
Costs
Q. Do you have a sliding scale?
A. We do not. Please see the answer to the next question.
Top
Q. I can't afford coaching right now. Can I still benefit
from your site?
A. We have a large number of free resources on the site.
First Time Here? has a complete list.
Dr. Sanford's inexpensive articles are a good source of practical
information and relationship tips. (See Articles
& Advice – Overview) The site also has a growing
number of Smart
Relationship Courses. They provide a good way to work on yourself
and your relationship at minimal cost.
Top
Q. Are your coaching services generally covered by health-insurance
policies?
A. Probably not. As practiced on this site, coaching
is an educational activity, not a therapeutic one.
Top
Q. What is your refund and cancellation policy for coaching
programs?
A. The policy is fully explained program by program in
Fees and
Registration.
|
Overview
